Bibliography – children
- 1- Emswiler, J. P., & Emswiler, M. A. (2000). Guiding your child through grief. New York: Bantam Books.
Target audience: children and adults
Synopsis"When death occurs in a family, all hell breaks loose," note the Emswilers, founders and directors of The Cove, a program for grieving children and their families, and of the New England Center for Loss & Transition. Beginning with the wrenching tale of how James lost his first wife to an unexpected heart attack, the book is threaded with his own personal experience in helping himself and his three children navigate through their shared grief, as well as with the firsthand accounts of others. The book's eminent practicality and compassionate, down-to-earth tone make it an invaluable handbook: from dealing with the initial shock to identifying typical reactions to death by age group and achieving the "three goals" of family grieving: reestablishing stability, acknowledging the experience of loss individually and collectively, and supporting each member in his or her efforts to start growing again. - 2- Greenlea, S., & Drath, B. (1992). When someone dies. Atlanta: Peachtree Pub Ltd.
Target audience: Ages 9-12.
SynopsisThe bereavement-counseling technique that forms the basis for this informal, conversational commentary on a child's experience of grief is sound, touching upon important points such as feelings, fears, and the need to cry.
- 3- Hanson, W. (1997). The next place. Golden Valley: Waldman House Pr.
Target audience: Ages 4-8
SynopsisAn inspirational journey of light and hope to a place where earthly hurts are left behind. - 4- James, J. (2002). When children grieve. New York: Harper Paperbacks.
Target audience: Children and adults
SynopsisFor adults to help children deal with death, divorce, pet loss, moving and other losses. - 5- Karst, P., & Stevenson, G. (2000). The invisible string. Camarillo: DeVorss & Company.
Target audience: Ages 4-8
SynopsisSpecifically written to address children's fear of being apart from the ones they love, The Invisible String delivers a particularly compelling message in today's uncertain times that though we may be separated from the ones we care for, whether through anger, or distance or even death, love is the unending connection that binds us all, and, by extension, ultimately binds every person on the planet to everyone else. Parents and children everywhere who are looking for reassurance and reaffirmation of the transcendent power of love, to bind, connect and comfort us through those inevitable times when life challenges us!
- 6- Krasny-Brown, L., & Brown, M. (1996). When Dinosaurs Die: A guide to understanding death. Boston: Little, Brown and Company.
Target audience: Ages 4-8
SynopsisUnlike many books on death for little ones, this one doesn't tell a story. Instead, it addresses children's fears and curiosity head-on, and in a largely secular fashion, by answering some very basic questions: "Why does someone die?" "What does dead mean?" "What comes after death?" Other questions deal with emotions, and there's a section about death customs (the weakest part of the book). The forthright approach makes the subject seem less mysterious and provides kids with plenty to think about and discuss with their parents. It's the brightly colored artwork, however, that will really enable children to relax with the concept. The pictures are filled with homey clutter and familiar detail, and the activities of the appealingly quirky characters (who resemble dinosaurs in only the broadest way) add a strong, comforting sense of what can only be called normalcy.
- 7- Mundy, M., & Alley, R. W. (1998). Sad isn't bad: A good-grief guidebook for kids dealing with loss. St. Meinrad: Abbey Press.
Target audience: Ages 9-12
SynopsisLoaded with positive, life-affirming advice for coping with loss as a child, this guide tells children what they need to know after a loss--that the world is still safe; life is good; and hurting hearts do mend. Written by a school counselor, this book helps comfort children facing of the worst and hardest kind of reality. - 8- Powell, E. S. (1990). Geranium Morning Minneapolis: Carolrhoda Books
Target audience: Ages 7-10
SynopsisA sensitive story on a difficult subject. Although his father is disappointed, Timothy pretends he is too tired to go along on their annual outing to buy geraniums. On his return from the nursery, Timothy's father is in a fatal car accident. Now the boy must deal with the ultimate loss and guilt he feels for staying home. As he and his mother struggle to cope, their emotions are in chaos. A chance meeting with Frannie, a new girl at school, brings Timothy the lifeline of friendship he needs to accept his feelings and the loss of his father. She also needs a friend; her mother is dying, and Frannie feels isolated from the happy children around her. Together, they come to terms with death, sharing a special understanding that sustains and heals. Few titles examine the loss of a parent, particularly for younger readers. This one gently probes the myriad feelings associated with grief, and looks at the value of the shared experience as the root of recovery. It may persuade a child who has lost a parent to accept solace from other children, or even from a local support group. - 9- Romain, T. (1999). What on Earth Do You Do When Someone Dies? Minneapolis: Free Spirit Publishing.
Target audience: Ages 9-12
SynopsisWhen Trevor Romain’s father died, Trevor didn’t know what to feel, say, or do. Shocked, saddened,
and confused, all he could say was . . . wow. As he started understanding what had happened, he began writing about his experiences and feelings. Trevor talks directly to kids about what death means and how to cope. He asks the kinds of questions kids have about death—Why? How? What next? Is it my fault?What’s a funeral?—in basic, straightforward terms. He describes and discusses the overwhelming emotions involved in grieving—sadness, fear, anger, guilt—and offers practical strategies for dealing with them. He also suggests meaningful ways to remember and honor the person who has died. When someone dies, adults are often involved with their own loss and grief and not as available to children as they might otherwise be. This little book, full of concrete advice and expressive illustrations, offers the comfort and reassurance that children need during these difficult times. Written to and for kids, it’s also recommended for parents and other relatives, educators, counselors, and youth workers.
- 10-Schweibert, P., DeKlven, C., & Bills, T. (2006). Tear Soup: A recipe for Healing after Loss. Portland: Grief Watch.
Target audience: Ages 4-10
SynopsisIf you are going to buy only one book on grief, this is the one to get! It will validate your grief experience, and you can share it with your children. Grand's Cooking Tips section at the back of the book is rich with wisdom and concrete recommendations. A building-block for children. Winner of the 2001 Theologos Book Award.
- 11- Simon, N., & Rogers, J. (2004). The saddest time. Park Ridge: Albert Whitman & Co.
Target audience: Ages 4-8
SynopsisThis book tells three separate stories about children's experiences with death. The first tells how a boy deals with the death of his uncle. The second, how students deal with the sudden death of a classmate. The third tells of a girl who is at the bedside with her family when her grandmother dies. Each one deals with the sad feelings surrounding death, but also celebrates the life of the deceased individual. Each story ends with how the children cope and come to terms with loss. Before and after each story are poems that connect death with the celebration of life. These explain that endings and beginnings are all connected.
- 12- Stickney, D. (2004). Waterbugs and dragonflies: Explaining death to children Cleveland: Pilgrim Press.
Target audience: Ages 4-8
SynopsisAimed primarily at children this book uses the allegory of metamorphosis to assist in understanding death.
- 13- Thomas, P., & Harker, L. (2001). I miss you. Hauppauge: Barron's Educational Series.
Target audience: Ages 4-8
SynopsisWhen a close friend or family member dies, it can be difficult for children to express their feelings. This book helps boys and girls understand that death is a natural complement to life, and that grief and a sense of loss are normal feelings for them to have following a loved one's death. Titles in this sensitively presented series explore the dynamics of various relationships experienced by children of preschool through early school age. Kids are encouraged to understand personal feelings and social problems as a first step in dealing with them. Written by psychotherapist and counselor Pat Thomas, these books promote positive interaction among children, parents, and teachers. The story lines are simple and direct--easily accessible to younger children. There are full-color illustrations on every page.
- 14- Vigna, J. (1991). Saying Goodbye to Daddy. Park Ridge: Albert Whitman & Co.
Target audience: Ages 4-8
SynopsisFrightened, lonely, and angry after her father is killed in a car accident, Clare is helped through the grieving process by her mother and grandfather.
- 15- Wolfelt, A. (2001). Healing your grieving heart for kids: 100 Practical Ideas. Fort Collins: Companion Press.
Target audience: children and adults
SynopsisWith sensitivity and insight, it offers suggestions for healing activities that can help survivors learn to express their grief and mourn naturally. Acknowledging that death is a painful, ongoing part of life, they explain how people need to slow down, turn inward, embrace their feelings of loss, and seek and accept support when a loved one dies. The book provides ideas and action-oriented tips that teach the basic principles of grief and healing. These ideas and activities are aimed at reducing the confusion, anxiety, and huge personal void so that the living can begin their lives again. Included are age-appropriate activities that teach younger people that their thoughts are not only normal but necessary.
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Bibliography – adults for sharing with children
- 1- Coloroso, B. (2001). Parenting through crisis: Helping kids in times of loss, grief and change. Scarborough: Harper-Collins.
Target audience: Adults
Synopsis The chapters of this book are arranged by type of crisis--quite helpful if you're looking for information on dealing with adoption and don't feel up to reading how to handle the death of a sibling. Inside each chapter, you'll find specific stages that children of different ages may go through in processing their difficulties, along with helpful parenting techniques, ways of creating a positive dialogue with all family members, and the occasional suggestion for particular legal issues. Pages are sprinkled heavily with appropriate quotes from many sources, and many parents may find a bit of memorization helpful in keeping their tempers. One chapter contains advice from Henry Ford that seems equally appropriate for assembly line or family drama: "Do not find fault, find a remedy." Coloroso encourages open communication at every opportunity, and her expertise in nonviolent conflict resolution shows itself with her suggestions of effective discipline and problem solving that leave blame and punishment in the dust. New language choices are a part of her techniques, and words like "co-parenting" and "primary responsibility" are emphasized instead of old school phrases like "joint" or "sole" custody. Parents in difficult situations should find a few quiet hours to spend with this book--it's not one to be quickly absorbed, but one to be used with planning and patience. - 2- Emswiler, J. P., & Emswiler, M. A. (2000). Guiding your child through grief. New York: Bantam Books.
Target audience: Adults
Synopsis "When death occurs in a family, all hell breaks loose," note the Emswilers, founders and directors of The Cove, a program for grieving children and their families, and of the New England Center for Loss & Transition. Beginning with the wrenching tale of how James lost his first wife to an unexpected heart attack, the book is threaded with his own personal experience in helping himself and his three children navigate through their shared grief, as well as with the firsthand accounts of others. The book's eminent practicality and compassionate, down-to-earth tone make it an invaluable handbook: from dealing with the initial shock to identifying typical reactions to death by age group and achieving the "three goals" of family grieving: reestablishing stability, acknowledging the experience of loss individually and collectively, and supporting each member in his or her efforts to start growing again.
- 3- Grollman, E. A. (1991). Talking about death: A dialog between parent and child. Ypsilanti: Beacon Press.
Target audience: Adults and children
Synopsis Why do people die? How do you explain the loss of a loved one to a child? This book is a compassionate guide for adults and children to read together, featuring a read along story, answers to questions children ask about death, and a comprehensive list of resources and organizations that can help. - 4- James, J. (2002). When children grieve. New York: Harper Paperbacks.
Target audience: Adults
Synopsis For adults to help children deal with death, divorce, pet loss, moving and other losses. - 5- Wolfelt, A. (2001). Healing your grieving heart for kids: 100 Practical Ideas. Fort Collins: Companion Press.
Target audience: Children - Adults
Synopsis With sensitivity and insight, it offers suggestions for healing activities that can help survivors learn to express their grief and mourn naturally. Acknowledging that death is a painful, ongoing part of life, they explain how people need to slow down, turn inward, embrace their feelings of loss, and seek and accept support when a loved one dies. The book provides ideas and action-oriented tips that teach the basic principles of grief and healing. These ideas and activities are aimed at reducing the confusion, anxiety, and huge personal void so that the living can begin their lives again. Included are age-appropriate activities that teach younger people that their thoughts are not only normal but necessary.
- 6- Grollman, E. A. (1993). Straight talk about death for teenagers: Hope to cope with losing someone you love. Ypsilanti: Beacon Press.
Target audience: Adolescents.
Synopsis With brief entries such as "Accidental Death," "Self-Inflicted Death," "Talking," "Crying," and "Going Nuts," Grollman offers advice and answers the kinds of questions that teens are likely to ask themselves when grieving the death of someone close.
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Bibliography – grieving following suicide
- 1- Bloom, L. A. (2004). Mourning after suicide. Varanasi: Pilgrim Press.
Target audience: Adults
Synopsis This booklet is short, clear, easy to read, is good for someone newly grieving loss of a loved one to suicide. It offers comfort and hope that we can heal; it 'normalizes' the grieving and healing processes of post-suicide, letting many know that what they're experiencing is normal. Reference to spirituality is in a gentle, non-invasive way. The raw honesty of the author sharing her experience of losing her son to suicide humanizes the experience and again, can be comforting. It's more than a pamphlet but not a whole book; a nice introduction to the subject. It isn't trying to promote anything in particular except that help, peer or professional, is effective and available.
- 2- Bolton, I., & Mitchell, C. (1983). My son… my son… A guide to healing after suicide in the family. Roswell: Bolton Pr Atlanta.
Target audience: Adults
Synopsis After the 1977 suicide of her 20 year old musician son, Iris Bolton says, "to climb from that emotional abyss would force me to fight the hardest battle of my life." On top of that, she was faced with the stigma of a "failed parent", and, she felt like a "discredited counselor" as the director of a family therapy center. Suicide transmits a public ridicule and private humiliation, grief, guilt and anger.Bolton eloquently shares her experience with brilliant usage of metaphors to describe the tortured process from grief to survival.
- 3- Fine, C. (1997). No Time to Say Goodbye: Surviving The Suicide Of A Loved One New York: Broadway Books.
Target audience: Ages 12 and up
Synopsis In 1989, the author's husband of 21 years, 44-year-old Harry, a New York City physician who was depressed over the recent deaths of his parents, killed himself with a lethal dose of an anesthetic. She offers advice for those recovering from the suicide of a marital partner, relative or close friend. Drawing on research, interviews with survivors and her own experience, Fine provides insights into living beyond this tragedy including dealing with feelings of guilt and anger, the stigma of suicide and financial and legal problems. She stresses that joining a peer support group is an important coping tool. Some of the descriptions of suicides make for difficult reading.
- 4- Smolin, A. (1993). Healing after the suicide of a loved one. Parksville: Fireside Books.
Target audience: Adults
Synopsis Too often people suffering the aftermath of a suicide suffer alone. As the survivor of a person who has ended his or her own life, you are left a painful legacy -- and not one that you chose. Healing After the Suicide of a Loved One will help you take the first steps toward healing. While each individual becomes a suicide survivor in his or her own way, there are predictable phases of pain that most survivors experience sooner or later, from the grief and depression of mourning to guilt, rage, and despair over what you have lost.
- 5- Wolfelt, A. (2010). The wilderness of suicide grief: Finding your way. Bozeman: Companion Press.
Target audience: Ages 14 and up
Synopsis Presenting the idea of wilderness as a sustained metaphor for grief, this compassionate guide explores the unique responses inherent to the grief felt by those who have experienced the suicide of a loved one and offers information about coping with such a profound loss. Likening the death of a loved one to the experience of being wrenched from normal life and dropped down in the middle of nowhere, the handbook employs 10 touchstones, or trail markers, that survivors use to begin to make their way through the new landscape. Each touchstone gently guides readers through the entire grieving process and includes topics such as dispelling misconceptions regarding suicide, exploring feelings, and embracing the uniqueness of a loss.
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